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Ulrich Kelber appointed as the Minister of Magic of the German government

Ulrich Kelber, Bundesminister für Zauberei

BONN/BERLIN (FOMC) – The first personnel issue of the future German government is fixed. Whoever will be German Chancellor, Ulrich Kelber (SPD), acting Parliamentary State Secretary at the German Federal Ministry of Justice and Consumer Protection and directly elected Member of Parliament for the election district Bonn and successor of Konrad Adenauer, has already been appointed as Minister of Magic.

The Federal Office for Magical Creatures was not surprised at all, when learning about the appointment of the computer scientist Ulrich Kelber as the new Minister of Magic.

Edmund F. Dräcker, president of the FOMC, who is said to think that it does not matter who is German Chancellor under him, reacted positively to the selection of the Parliamentary State Secretary

„Ulrich Kelber has mentioned that he highly values the Minister of Magic’s office and that it would be his favourite work. This statement quickly made the rounds between witches, elves, magicians and vampires and therefore it has not been a surprise, when a framed portrait in full size hung on a wall at the Federal Office for Magical Creatures this morning.


Minister of Magic – the best Office prior to being the Pope and being the chairman of the SPD

The portrait of the Minister of Magic
The portrait of the Minister of Magic

As a general rule Franz Müntefering said that being the chairman of the SPD is the best office next to being the Pope, but the SPD-delegate Kelber has entirely different priorities. He has pointed out early to the magical community that the CDU has been denying the existence of magic since the founding of the Federal Republic of Germany (election battle cry of the CDU for the parliamentary elections 1949: „We cannot perform magic!“) and brought the G8-conference of the magical realms to Bonn, which has dealt with the introduction of the Euro in magical realms, a gender-sensitive foreign policy with Mordor, and many more things.

The SPD party congress, another fantastical event, is going to take place in Bonn on 21st January and it is obvious that the future Minster of Magic Ulrich Kelber, MP, who always attaches value to the well-being and importance of his home town Bonn, has used his forces in this case as well.


About the iconography of the portrait of the Minister of Magic

The portrait of the Minister of Magic depicts Ulrich Kelber with the regalia of Office, the wand rustic oak and in the official attire of the British Minister of Magic, a tribute to the Brits, because thanks to Dumbledore’s heirs the existence of magic has been moved back to the attention of the public. In the portrait Ulrich Kelber is wearing a red and green patterned tie to express the opinion of the green Member of Parliament Katja Dörner, who says that Ulrich Kelber is the greenest of all SPD-parlamentarians.

“The nature of the appointment has been unusual. Normally a Minister of Magic gets his certificate of appointment from the Federal President after the Chancellor has introduced his new cabinet to the German parliament. Only then the portrait of the office holder is manufactured and presented at a suitable location in the ministry. Due to the current situation, which only knows a managing Federal Government, the magical community wanted to make a statement”, speculates Dräcker,” and with the election of the Member of Parliament Ulrich Kelber as the new Minister of Magic and to show that there is a functioning German parliament, which elects the Chancellor, controls the Federal Government and passes laws.”


Wahrlich, Dein Amt sagt Dir, künde vom Wirken des Bundeslurchs allenthalben und allüberall:


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Über Hagen Ulrich

Hagen Ulrich, Jahrgang 1967, lebt mit Ehemann und sieben Katzen in Bonn am Rhein. Hexen, Drachen, Vampire und andere magische Wesen sind kein Problem, wenn man sie ordentlich verwaltet. Schließlich hat in Deutschland alles seine Ordnung. Basierend auf dieser Idee, entwickelte er die Idee einer Behörde, die sich um die Belange magischer Mitbürger kümmert. So entstand das Bundesamt für magische Wesen. Hagen Ulrich kam nach dem Besuch einer Ladys Night zu Twilight zum Schreiben und veröffentlicht seine Romane im Himmelstürmer Verlag in Hamburg.

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